Somewhere Only We Know
by T.J. Wise
Summary: Warning: Spoilers for TVD S5E17* As I pondered over the good & bad sides of last night episode I wrote this piece. Is a reflection of sorts I guess. I haven't had time to work on it for as long as I normally do. I don't even know if it's any good to be honest. I thought that I should just post it and worry about it next week. You have been warned.


**AN: Sigh... Does anybody else feel like the last few episodes of TVD have been a bit blah? That is not to say that the actors are not doing their part... It's just that it all feels very pointless to me at this point. Ian however is wearing Damon like a second skin and every scene with him is perfect. I guess is just Elena that I can't stand anymore... Yesterday I found my self, for the very first time, thinking that maybe Steroline is not such a bad idea after all. I even thought that maybe is a great think that Elena broke up with Damon and he can move on and be happy... I don't know... I'm rambling...**

**So as I pondered over last night episode I wrote what comes after this AN. I haven't had time to work on it, don't even know if it's any good, but I thought that I should just post it and worry about it next week. So be kind if you can. Here we go**

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_"Somewhere Only We Know" - Keane_

_I walked across an empty land_  
_I knew the pathway like the back of my hand_  
_I felt the earth beneath my feet_  
_Sat by the river and it made me complete_

_Oh simple thing where have you gone?_  
_I'm getting old and I need something to rely on_  
_So tell me when you're gonna let me in_  
_I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin_

_I came across a fallen tree_  
_I felt the branches of it looking at me_  
_Is this the place we used to love?_  
_Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?_

_(...)_

_And if you have a minute why don't we go_  
_Talk about it somewhere only we know?_  
_This could be the end of everything_  
_So why don't we go_  
_Somewhere only we know?_  
_Somewhere only we know?_

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...What a day... What a night... What a life...

You come into this world, you fill your lungs with air and your throat with cries... You breathe, you walk, you talk and at first you think you are invincible...then you grow up. You learn then that living and staying alive are nothing but a temporary status that inevitably leads to death... Once you know that, nothing is ever the same around you and inside you.

Tom Avery seems to be a very kind and wholesome human being. Caroline watches as he shoves food down his mouth as he tells her more about himself. His eyes, so much like Stefan's, look at her with so much trust that the blonde vampire wishes she could find some murderous past in the doppelgänger of her best friend. Unfortunately, Caroline cannot find a single reason to justify killing this man in front of her. She wishes desperately that she could... Stefan's safety is depending on it, it's depending on her ending the life of this sweet human man... She compels him to run instead.

Moments later, the choice is taken away from her anyway as Enzo snaps Tom Avery's neck... His body falls to the ground and his glassy eyes reflect Caroline's defeat... She should have been the one to kill him, she needed to be the one to save Stefan. She failed. What does it say about her that she is almost relieved that he is dead? Does it make her evil? Maybe... What it does say for certain is that the Caroline that she once was died long ago. Are her eyes glassy and empty too? Somewhere between becoming a vampire, being tortured by werewolves and falling in lust with a hybrid she lost the human Caroline. Whomever she has become, the person she is today, that girl is now en route back to Stefan's side... She may have failed him, but she cannot bear not be at his side. Not anymore.

Damon watches as Elena pulls further and further away emotionally from him. They both have acknowledged the impossibility of their toxic relationship, that they both crave it like the blood, so they are being sensible and parting ways. They may be able to rationalize their love, their cravings and their needs, but the heart wants what the heart wants... Damon has learned that but Elena may be still too young to know it... Time is sure to teach her that... Either way, his longing for her will always be there. It always was, it always will... He knows that because he has watched as Stefan let Elena walk away with a piece of his heart that will never be returned... Now was, apparently, Damon's turn. He briefly wondered, now that she was eternal, how many hearts would Elena rip in her quest for love...

Bonnie talks to Elena and learns that her boyfriend is not telling her the whole truth. She is missing some pieces of the story and she has a bad feeling... She calls Jeremy and gets no reply... She wonders if she is being played again... Her boyfriend has a history of telling half truths and falling in love with lost causes. Bonnie does not want to believe this is the case. She gave everything up for him..., would his love be so fickle that he would abandon her again?

On the other side of town Damon is, predictably, drinking his fill. Matt and Tyler are unwilling listeners to his mutterings as all three of them witness Jeremy consorting with the young witch Bonnie has been mentoring. To Damon it smells strongly like deja vu. He should have known better than to believe that the drama would end... Well, at least if there is a fray he can focus on killing and punching. Nothing like mayhem to distract you from a broken heart. Whatever shit is coming it is sure to hit the fan sooner or later, so Damon leaves to attend a teacher-parents conference for Baby Gilbert as if that mattered at all.

At the school, Damon and Elena clash tongues, but not in the way Damon would have liked. It's a verbal sparring that echoes their former flirty banter but is nothing more than the dying cries of a doomed relationship. Elena has given up on them. Actually, there is no more "them" as far as the girl is concerned and it hurts Damon so deeply that he will never give her the satisfaction to see it.

Caroline finds Stefan laying tiredly in the back of some abandoned car. All the brain frying torture has obviously take it's toll on him, but at least he seems glad to see her back at his side. She feels exhausted too from a highly emotional day and from worry for her best friend. He reassures her and calms her conflicted heart. They both fall asleep to recover their energies to live and fight another day. The last thing Caroline sees before sleep claims her is Stefan's kind face and she feels glad that her crazy life gave her such a good friend... and that he is still alive.

Elena's life is once more in danger and Damon can't help wondering if anyone else is fed up with saving Elena... He loves her more than anything but some days he really longs for a life without drama... Like he used to have before he and Stefan found the doppelgänger of their maker... Maybe he and Stefan should get out of dodge and just let her fend for herself... It is not as if caring for the humans of this town or trying to save Elena ever worked in their favor anyway... Damon is also getting tired of her ordering him about... When she asks him to trust her, he gives her a last free pass because he too is ready to let go of her...

Jeremy decides to move out, Caroline to hold close and Elena to move on... Elena and Damon allow the first, Stefan seems to accept the second, Damon gives his blessing for the third...

Some days Damon wonders what is the point of all this eternal living... On days like today he wishes that he too had lived and died as he should have. Caroline feels equally despondent, but at least she is keeping good and loyal company for a change. Jeremy is too focused on what is coming next to care either way.

Caroline and Stefan wake up to more chanting and then travelers catching fire... Stefan tells her is time to run, a part of her wishes he meant towards a new life, but they can't abandon their loved ones... Elena knows that too well... although, for the last three years, she feels like she has been living on borrowed time... As Bonnie writhes in pain, enduring traveler after dead traveler going through her, Elena reflects on all the people that have died or suffered because she exists... The young witch said that the travelers would be coming for her... maybe she would find eternal rest after all and leave everyone to live in peace... At least this time she had tied all her lose ends. No white or dark knight to rescue her and swear undying love. No, Elena had successfully burned her bridges with both Salvatore brothers... Oddly, she was ok with that. She had always felt like a replacement anyway, first for Katherine, then for one brother or the other. Stefan and Damon have each other, they did not need her... Jeremy was also all sorted out and, if she left the picture, he would be probably better off as would be Bonnie, Caroline and Matt.

So yes, all things considered, Elena was ready to let the tsunami take her, kill her, do whatever... At this point eternity felt very overrated and pointless... What was the point of living when she felt as old and empty as the Boarding House she left behind?

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**AN: So that's it. xoxo**


End file.
